I love therapy. I've found it super helpful in understanding my blocks and figuring out how to move forward with what I want to do.

There is, to my mind, a strange reluctance of people to make use of therapy. Like they should wait until things are really bad, or something.

Let me offer an analogy.

Going to the dentist is not a substitute for brushing and flossing your teeth every day. Neither is therapy a substitute for working on your own problems day to day.

On the other hand, someone who said, "don't go to the dentist for a teeth cleaning. Don't go to the dentist when you have a cavity. Wait until you need a root canal"... would be being silly.

Another concern I hear sometimes is someone is worried if they can find a therapist who would understand their issue, their situation.

I found my therapist on

In my case, I was looking for someone who understood kink, who understood poly, who was LGBT friendly. (I'm not LGBT myself, but I identify as an ally, and someone who wasn't LGBT friendly would be a red flag for me).

Not because my issues particularly involved kink or poly. But, on the other hand, I wouldn't want to be trying to get therapy while possibly arguing over whether my kink or open relationships were intrinsically the result of psychological problems :-/

When considering a therapist, you don't need to commit to therapy with them right away. You can, in effect, interview them. Tell them about their situation, and find out if they think they would be a good therapist for that. And if so, why.

Most therapists are pretty good about saying whether something lies within their area of interest and competence, and offering a referral to another therapist if it's something they don't think they'd be the right therapist for.

Many therapists these days have a secure patient portal where you can send them a secure message. I'm pretty introverted, so I was happy to send my prospective therapist a message about my background and the issues I was facing, and to get her reaction before making an appointment. Someone else who is more social or verbal oriented would likely prefer to talk to prospective therapists in person.