The Power of Admitting Weakness

If I publicly proclaim my weaknesses, does that make me a victim?

To be a victim is to allow your opponent to win.

For you or your opponent to win, you need to be playing a finite game, a game played for the purpose of winning.

See the book Finite and Infinite Games by James Carse for more about the difference between finite and infinite games.

For one person to win, someone else needs to lose. And when playing a finite game to win, naturally one would want to conceal one's weaknesses, to avoid being at a disadvantage.

In contrast, an infinite game is played for the purpose of continuing the play.

There is no winner in an infinite game. Or a loser, for that matter. Because if the game were to be “won” or “lost”, then the game ends, and the purpose of an infinite game is to keep playing.

In an infinite game, it is to my advantage to reveal my weaknesses, not to my disadvantage.

These are my weaknesses that you would need to understand, that you would need to take into account, if you want to play with me.

Which empowers someone to play with me if they want to. Now they don't have to guess whether I might want play or not. Now they know what I'll say “yes” to.

In both a finite and in an infinite game, revealing my weaknesses empowers my partner.

In an finite game, empowering my partner, my opponent, is a bad idea, because then they are more likely to win, and I more likely to lose.

In an infinite game, empowering my partner is a good idea, because then there can be more play.