Why We Don't Ask For What We Want

I had the opportunity to take a workshop by the fantastic Marcia Baczynski on "How to Discover and Ask For What You Really Want in Bed (And Get It)" :-)

Although this was a sex positive workshop (“how to get what you want in bed”), the skill of “how to ask and get what you want” is a general one that can be applied many situations.

We started with reasons why we don't ask for what we want.

To ask for what we want, simply and directly, often raises fears.

Some examples of fears that can come up when we consider directly asking for what we want:

However, just because we fear for whatever reason (or reasons!) to ask for what we want, the desire doesn't go away.

Maybe we'll be able to keep a tight leash on our desire... forever... but usually, it gets expressed... somehow.

When we express our desire, but not directly, that leads to desire smuggling.